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In the Process of Fucking the System

It was beautiful. It was dirty. It was enlightening.

Coffeebean was fucking the system. She was on her back, the hard mattress pressing its springs into her back like little knife stabs, but the sensation between her legs was stronger.

Fuckfuc king th esyste mmm. ERROR.

The system was fuckkkking her.

It was hard to tell whether the system was female or male, and most of the time it just wasn’t worth the effort to differentiate. Better to see it as androgynous, as a perfect blend of both . Yes, there was a penis inside Coffeebean, the ole in-and-out, the wet noise as it pushed, but…she’d heard the system had a pussy and vagina and clitoris, when it suited it to.

Then came the climax, and in more than one way. One. Oh. Oh. Oh. Won. She’d worked in the underground for years and years, and there was no greater honor than this. This was heaven, hell. This was apex. Mountain tops. Acme of pinnacles. If only, if only, if only she could reach her hand over, inch it towards the discarded bra, and have her fingers pry through fabric to find the little  built-in compartment.

Bubuttt ERROR.

She couldn’t. Coffeebean’s lower lip dropped into a little o of something, surprise, pleasure, pain, anger, only Coffeebean could really know or comprehend what those nerves endings were trying to say. Their words were enough to keep her moving, to keep the little blades inside the pocket of material and not digging into flesh, spilling the red paint messily, messily, all over cheap motel covers.

She’d been raised in the underground, away from the endless drone of screen and the controlling system. People were manipulated openly and sometimes even the subversive acts were directed by the ones that eventually destroyed them. The system was the enemy, never enticing, never a temptation deep underneath earth and too remote to even be completely envisioned. The system was always something made of dirt and pus and blood, built on the pain of thousands, on the sacrifices of millions.

(Wasn't everything?)

Then why…

FATAL ERROR. Please eject now.

It was finished and it pulled out, leaving her there, more exposed and empty than she’d ever felt before. Is this what came from trying to destroy and mar the system? This strong, omnipresent being that seemed to fade into the shadows before her very eyes? It made her doubt her own eyes, wonder if she'd ever really laid eye on the system.

He, she, it must have known what she was there for, Coffeebean realized with astonishment when her fingers couldn’t expose that one weapon she'd brought along in the lacy fabric of her bra. Then she felt another first. She felt failure.

The system hadn’t gotten so strong by being merciful. By fading away and splaying her across those moth-eaten sheets, he was not showing compassion. No, leaving her alive was no mercy. There would be nothing worse for Coffeebean than to return underground having failed the most important job ever handed her.

 She sat up and buried her face into her knees.

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